How many men and women are looking for Ms. or Mr. Right, with the rose-covered cottage and the white picket fence thrown in for good measure?

A recent University of Chicago study reveals that 69 percent of adults between the ages of twenty-five and thirty-four are ready for that (hopefully) final relationship that leads to marriage. Census statistics show that they’ll probably get their wish: over 90 percent of all adults will marry at least once.

But great relationships are a hit-and-miss proposition: most women under the age of forty have had only two “meaningful relationships” prior to uttering “I do.”

Until then, so many things — his career or hers, his allergy to her cat (or hers to his mother) — can get in the way. And that doesn’t include anything that one might do, either knowingly or unwittingly, to sabotage the relationship. One of the most common mistakes is by jumping the gun on commitment.

When this happens, says, David Woodsfellow, Ph.D., director of the Center for Relationship Therapy in Atlanta, Georgia, the other partner may play along for a while, but eventually that person will head for the hills. “After all, the relationship has to move at a pace that works for both of you.”

To keep the relationship in sync, Woodsfellow suggests that partners visualize the various stages of commitment as beads on a necklace: “One bead may be ‘attraction.’ Another might be ‘sex,’ and other beads may be ‘engagement,’ ‘having a child,’ or ‘marriage.’ The order in which we ‘string’ these beads and our ability to work in tandem is what determines our chances of building a mutual lifelong commitment.”

Another gaffe some single people make is to jump out of a budding relationship in the hope that someone better is just around the corner. Despite enjoying the sex, when you are unable to share emotional intimacy with your partner, the underlying reason may be that you are reacting to the pain of a past emotional loss.

Before your fears wreak havoc on other possible soul mates, you need to look carefully prior to making another emotional leap.

“The best News Year’s resolution you could make for yourself is to live alone for the whole year,” recommends Woodsfellow. “During this live alone sabbatical, you should date as many people as possible so that you can better determine what traits you are looking for in a mate. For example, you may want your partner to like your family. Your partner should also be okay with dating for a year before considering marriage. Of course, you should share incredible sexual chemistry. And the top priority should be that your partner loves you and respects you. After all, you deserves it — and it makes for the happiest of endings.”

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